I’ve been meaning to get round to writing this post ever since it was suggested to me earlier this year by one of my readers. It has been a reoccurring topic as of late among my friends and I, so I thought it was about time I addressed it and gave my opinion on the matter.
Though the two terms are pretty self-explanatory, I think it best to begin with a clear definition of what I mean by them. Both types of sex can be had with a partner or a complete stranger; however the former is more typically had with someone that you’re not in a relationship with.
Physical sex, is that raw, primal sex that you have, commonly a spontaneous act with the sole goal of satisfying your need. Whereas, emotional sex, like the name suggests, is usually a more intimate, love-making process, where you are more aware of your partner’s needs as well as your own.
Firstly, I’d like to debunk the myth that women are only capable of having emotional sex, I know plenty of women, who just like men, are capable of separating their emotions when it comes to sex; we like to get ours too. Likewise, there are plenty of men who enjoy emotional sex. In my experience I’ve only really had ‘emotional sex’ whilst in a relationship; intimacy usually arises once getting to know your partner and really understanding their needs.
As to which of the two is better I think it depends on the person. Personally, when in a relationship, I like a bit of both. It keeps the relationship interesting; there’s nothing like being surprised with a quickie when you least expect it. I know for some women emotion and sex go hand in hand and it can be impossible for them to climax or have the best experience from physical sex alone. I think a healthy balance of the two, whether you’re single or in a relationship, is probably best.
And a little fore-warning to women who do attempt to detach their emotions from sex, it isn’t an easy feat. I know a lot of women, and men alike, who have gone into a situation believing they were capable of keeping it ‘no strings attached’, only to realise one day that they were developing feelings all along. If you’re going to attempt the whole detached thing you have to be strong and really sure within yourself that you won’t develop feelings, otherwise, like a lot of other people, you could be left with a broken heart when the other person ups and leaves without even a backward glance.
I’d like to hear your opinion on which type of sex you prefer if any of them. Do you think one is better than the other? And do you think sex and emotion can be mutually exclusive or will there always be some feelings attached?