I was inspired to write this post after watching an episode of the Wendy Williams Show, the Hot Talk segment. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYyrv6iIkXk – 4.40) In the segment they discuss the release of a new book titled, ‘It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date’ by Andrea Syrtash & Jeff Wilser. The book aims to ‘debunk’ the rules of dating that have been established in society, one of them being sleeping with someone on the first date. Now, I for one have yet to read this book but it has certainly peaked my interest and I’ll be sure to write a review once I have read it.
For this post though, I would like to offer my views on the age old question; when is it ok to sleep with the other person. Personally, I do not agree with sleeping with someone on a first date (you have to leave a little to be desired), but I do not like to wait too long either to do it. I think this is where my growing up with five older brothers kicks in; I have to know very early on whether or not the guy and I are ‘physically’ compatible.
I think most girls see having sex with someone too early on as a bad thing; they fear that the guy could just be looking to mash and dash. However I see it as a good thing; the last thing I want is to spend months getting to know someone, investing time and emotions only to be disappointed when we eventually get round to doing the deed. And for me sex is an extremely important part of my relationships, it complements the emotional side of the relationship and vice versa. I am not one of those people who can overlook a not so great sex life; it is most definitely a deal breaker for me.
Too many girls I know are in relationships where they are not physically satisfied but remain in them because they are emotionally content. I think these girls are being unfair on both themselves and their partners; a guy wants to know they are fulfilling all their woman’s needs, faking sexual pleasure kind of mocks the whole institution of the relationship, does it not?
Girls, in the words of the book’s subheading, “Don’t trust the rules, trust yourself”. Society has lead us to believe it is not okay to sleep with someone on the first date, but I say why conform if you are sure of yourself and what you want out of it. Some see it as being ‘easy’, I see it as being in control. Do not let society dictate the way you play your game.